


Untamed

by shadyglambert_soly



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Sauli Koskinen RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-20 09:22:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3645075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadyglambert_soly/pseuds/shadyglambert_soly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A wild horse, A wild boy, and a blonde prince who falls in love with both of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Untamed

It had been three years.  
Three years of people stocking whatever eatable, three years of people hiding from violence, three years of losing all the loved ones, three years of putting happiness aside. Three years of being downright miserable.  
It had been fucking three years of the stupid war.  
And it could’ve been four, until Sauli Erik Koskinen decided to put an end to it.  
Sure, being the heir to the kingdom, he was probably having the hardest time of his life, and he had all rights to care about himself for a little while, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t just that kind of prince. He loved his country, he loved his people, he loved his kingdom, and he fucking loved his life.  
He couldn’t stand his people being miserable. He couldn’t stand seeing the fear in their eyes, the tears on their cheeks, and the ache in their bones. He couldn’t stand seeing all those children cry for their fathers to be back from war, all those heartbroken couples separated, waiting hopelessly for each other.  
He was fucking sick of it. He had gone three years to bed while crying. He wasn’t ashamed to admit that he had cried every single night. But come to think of it, he shouldn’t have blamed himself. He fought with everything in him. He fought for his people with his pride, loyalty, and most importantly, love.  
There wasn’t a single day when he wasn’t on the battlefields, in the middle of the war. And if there was, it was probably because he was either too scarred and wounded to fight or he was helping the other soldiers to stay strong.  
In the second year of the war, he almost died. He had been fighting for three hours without the slightest break, and he was tired and unfocused. While being in the middle of a difficult sword fight, he unconsciously dropped his sword, and someone from the enemy’s army seemed to notice it, so he kicked Sauli from behind. Terrified, Sauli had found himself lying on the ground, his heavy armor doing a terrible job of protecting me from the kicks the guys threw at him, and even a worse job of protecting him from the sword that came down with a roar, and went straight into the flesh of Sauli’s chest, drawing blood along with the blood-curdling scream the left Sauli’s mouth right before he passed out.  
He was unconscious for two months. But when he woke up, it didn’t even take him a full month of recovery and in less than three months, prince Sauli was back with his sword, defending the honor of his country. No matter how much his parents insisted, he couldn’t stay inside the castle any longer while there was his people out there, struggling for their lives.  
It wasn’t that he was a coward, no. He wanted to stop the war, because he was fucking sick of seeing people ‘miserable’. So one night, he decided to do the craziest thing.  
He left his night tent in the jungle their army was hiding, wearing nothing but a white long fabric, hugging his limbs loosely.  
“THIS IS SAULI ERIK KOSKINEN, THE HEIR TO THE KINGDOM,” he yelled. “I HAVE NO SWORD, NO ARMOR, NO SHIELDS, NOTHING! I, THE PRINCE, AM OFFERING,” he swallowed harshly. “PEACE!”  
As soon as the words left his mouth, he was surrounded by fifteen enemy soldiers, all of them with swords in their hand. Sauli raised his both arms. “I’m even wearing all white, just to prove my point. Take me to your king, I wanna have a talk with him.”  
“How do we know you’re not just a filthy liar?” one of them seethed. Sauli glared at him.  
“Watch your mouth, you. I may be offering some sort of peace here, but I’m still the most fucking important living thing in this country, after my father. And if I do anything wrong, you can just take my life. I can’t defend myself like this, can I? I’m not even wearing an armor.” He finished with a scowl. “Now, take me to your king, I’m sure he won’t be pleased when he hears my suggestion and finds out that you’ve been keeping me here for too long.”  
That seemed to work for them, judging by how fast they lowered the swords and grabbed Sauli, which he didn’t seem to like. “I’m totally capable of walking on my own, thank you very much.” He rolled his eyes. “Just lead the way.”  
“Sassy bitch,” someone muttered.  
You couldn’t blame them though.

 

“I’ll tell you what I think is enough for ME to end this war,” The enemy king hissed as he sat across Sauli. Sauli took a deep breath.  
“Go on then, what is it?” he challenge, doing a great job of hiding his fear by a mask of confidence.  
“You’re sure you’ll accept it?”  
“I,” Sauli pressed. “Am completely, absolutely and positively sure.”  
But he wasn’t feeling so sure when he left the king, heading to his parents and deciding to explain to them what a horrible deal he had managed to make.  
He cried on the way, and everyone ignored it. Politely.  
Because Sauli never cries, unless…

 

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN?” His old father, Osmo, yelled at him as he stood there with his head bent down. He could never blame his father, but he also believed he had done the right thing, even if it meant…  
“Dad, I am 20 years old, legally old enough to make my own decisions. I…” he swallowed, his throat felt raw. “I understand that this is a bit… shocking right now but-“  
“NO Sauli!” His mother shouted between sobs. “We won’t let you do this! This is so…so…”  
“Sacrificing? I already knew that mother, it’s why I did it in the first place. I’m sorry,” he felt his eyes filling with tears. “But it was the only way. This way, I am the only one who suffers, not all these people out there…” he felt a heavy lump making its way to his throat. “I think you’re just gonna have to respect my decision, because this is the first time I’m doing anything without your permission. I guess after all these years I really deserve that.”  
“We can’t just let you…” his father tried.  
“No father, stop. That’s it. I’m doing it. In three month, I will leave you and this kingdom to go to their lands, marry their princess, and settle there forever. You will disown me and have no claim over me, and so will I. I will be their prince, the princess’ husband and officially… one of them. Forever. That’s what the king offered, he wanted the best sword fighter in the world by his side, and he wanted the glory of having him. Who? Me.” He felt like throwing up. “My nationality will change in three months. I’ll never see you after that. I won’t be your son anymore, neither will I be a prince to this kingdom. Bright side? Well, the war will end, and it will never happen again.” He didn’t bother to wipe his tears. “I’m going to bed, sorry I…”  
He turned and ran.  
For the first time in his life, he cried for ‘himself’.

 

“Is it true?” Sara, his twin sister whispered as she sat down on his king-sized bed, tears filling her eyes.  
Sauli laid down still. “Yes.” He opened his eyes. “Yes, it is.”  
Sara looked down at him for several seconds, then jumped on him and started crying.  
Somewhere between her sobs, Sauli managed to hear her whispering “I hate you”. He smiled sadly, she wasn’t the only one.  
“Sara, hey, look at me,” he demanded. Sara brought her eyes up, lower lip trembling. “Hey, none of that now. You know what I did was for the best. You have to be strong, okay? In three months, you’ll be in charge, with EVERYTHING. Mother and father are too old to be ruling, and the throne will be yours in a few years. Every man will be fighting for your hand, and as much as it pains me, but I need to have you know that I won’t be by your side that time. You need to be strong baby sister, okay? For me, for mother and father, for our people. You’re so brave Sara, I love you so much.” His voice broke. “And it’s not like I’m… like I’m going to die, I just… just won’t be here… that’s all.” He choked on a sob.  
Why did it have to be so difficult?  
Sara sighed. “I know, it’s just… it’s gonna be so hard without you here and… and I’m gonna miss you so much and… oh god… I promise, Sauli, I promise I won’t let you down. I won’t. This is the fucking biggest sacrifice ever, I won’t let you regret it.”  
Pain bloomed into Sauli’s chest and spread everywhere faster than the strongest poisons, seeing how he could never see his loved ones again, how he had to put them behind. He smiled weakly and pressed his forehead on Sara’s. “I know, love,” he whispered as Sara closed her eyes. “I know.”

 

Sauli woke up as he heard a scream.  
It wasn’t early in the morning, he could tell by the rays of sun escaping from the window. He moaned as he lost his balance and fell off his bed, banging his head to the floor loudly.  
“Fucking shit,” he whispered as he dizzily stood up, making his way toward the window. Down there, in the middle of the castle pitch, there were a lot of people standing, all horrified. Sauli ran down the stairs, tripped about three times but finally made it.  
“WHAT’S WRONG?” he yelled, terrified. Niko, his best friend and his personal assistant, body guard, right hand-whatever, ran to him from the crowd.  
“Holy god, what are you doing here in your sleeping clothes prince?” he rushed as he tried to take Sauli away from there.  
“I woke up with a scream, wanted to check if-“  
“It’s nothing, just an untamed horse. Go back inside, please. There are a lot of…people here who shouldn’t be seeing you here like…this…”  
“A wild horse?”  
“Please just go back inside-“  
“Where is it?”  
Niko groaned. “He’s dangerous, goddammit. You should go. No one’s been able to get near him without having broken bones, and you’re not a tamer Sauli, just go!”  
“But,” Sauli pouted. “I just wanna see it!” Niko rolled his eyes.  
“Alright, just… stay behind me,” Niko glared. “Okay?”  
“Fine,” Sauli hissed. “You’re worse than mother.”  
“It’s my JOB to protect you, so please, don’t make it harder than it already is, okay?”  
“Ugh, can we just go?”  
Niko led him toward the crowd and everyone stood back, gasping by the sight of their prince and wondering what he was doing there in such clothes. Sauli couldn’t hear them talking though, even when they were loud. He was hypnotized.  
Right before his eyes stood the most beautiful piece of living art, Sauli suddenly needed support to stand on his own feet.  
A dark horse.  
A dark horse with a white forehead, strong, delicate legs and long neck, and perfect hooves. He was terrified though, his ears were back and down, about to throw a kick.  
God, Sauli was already in love with him.  
“Hey, Niko?” he whispered.  
“Yes?”  
“Will you kill me if I do something stupid?”  
“As long as it’s not going forward to that horse, I guess not.”  
“It’s not.” Sauli smirked, and took a deep breath.  
“CAN ANYONE HERE TAME HIM?” He yelled at the crowd. People kept looking at each other with questioning looks painting their features. Why would the prince ask that?  
“Look,” Sauli addressed the crowd of people again. “I know you’ve been told about the fact that I’m leaving here in three months, it’s been two days since you’ve been told. So, I’m doing this for you, but I really like this horse and the least you can do to thank me, is taming this beautiful thing for me, so I’ll take him with myself. I want him to be MY horse, something to remember from my kingdom.”  
No one even moved. Sauli was disappointed.  
“I will pay you well, really well, I promise. Seriously! C’mon!”  
No one made a sound. Sauli looked down, genuinely sad. He fucking wanted the horse. Did he have to be wild?  
“Sauli! This beautiful horse you want, has broken bones of seventeen men! One of them almost got killed! Leave it, we’ll find you another!” Niko whispered in a rush.  
“But I want this one!”  
“No you don’t-“  
“I VALUNTEER!” someone yelled from the crowd. Whoever it was, Sauli was sure he could kiss him out of happiness. He beamed.  
People started making room for the person to walk forward, and the second Sauli saw him, he actually gasped for air.  
One man can’t handle this much beauty in only one day. No.  
The volunteer turned out to be a young boy, about Sauli’s age, probably a bit younger. The first thing Sauli noticed about him was his mesmerizing blue eyes, looking at Sauli as if he was tearing his soul open, reading him like a book. Then he noticed his gorgeous face, high cheekbones, thick, black eyebrows, jet black messy hair, white pale skin, and red, devil red freckled lips.  
Fuck, freckled lips. Sauli chocked on air.  
“You’re staring, prince Sauli. It’s not very polite to do so.”  
Fucking hell, his fucking goddamn voice. FUCK.  
“Um… uh… yeah sorry I just…” Damn, get a grip.  
“Who are you?” Niko, who seemed to be in his sane mind unlike Sauli, asked the guy.  
“Your soon-to-be horse tamer.”  
Oh, sassy. Fucking hot and SASSY.  
“Your name,” Niko repeated.  
“Does it matter?”  
“Just answer the bloody question, will you?”  
Blue eyed beauty cocked his head. “Lambert.”  
“Your first name?” Sauli managed to ask after succeeding to stop gaping like a goldfish out of water. He just HAD TO know the guy’s name.  
He narrowed his eyes as he observed Sauli with a scary look. God, he was even taller than Sauli. Much taller, and much boarder.  
“Adam.”  
“Adam,” Niko spoke again. “What makes you think you can tame this-this wild thing? You’re too young, we don’t want you to get hurt,-“  
“I was raised with them,” Adam spoke. “Horses, I mean. Understand them much better than I understand most people. Not saying this will be easy, but nothing I can’t do. Of course, if you pay me well.” He smirked.  
“I’ll pay you well enough, I promise.” Sauli said in a rush. “C’mon, come back to the castle. Niko? Give him a room somewhere in the east tower. A decent one. Give him decent food and proper clothes, and give him two servants for help in the taming. When will you start?” he turned to Adam.  
Adam shrugged. “Whenever you like.”  
Sauli felt awesome. “Alright, tomorrow then.” He smiled at him. Adam didn’t smile back though, just shook his head. Why was he even glaring?  
Okay, he didn’t feel that awesome anymore.  
“Okay then, see you tomorrow. Niko, be careful while leading the horse into the stables. I’m going for breakfast.”  
Niko nodded. Adam on the other hand, snorted.  
“What’s so funny?” Sauli asked, offended.  
“Nothing,” Adam teased. “Just the fact that our prince is such an early bird.”  
“Hey, watch it you,” Niko said with a warning tone, glaring at him.  
Sauli felt…  
Hurt. Just a little, a little bit.  
Why though? He barely knew the boy. It shouldn’t have hurt, honestly.

 

 

“Where is he?” sauli asked as he walked down the training pitch.  
“About to arrive now, I guess. Just… promise you’ll be careful okay? Just sit on the walls around the pitch, let him do his job. DON’T go in the pitch, no matter what happens. Please.”  
“Fine, okay.”  
And he did. Like a good boy, he went and sat on the walls around the pitch, careful not to fall down. He glanced around, and suddenly something moved around the bushes.  
Before Sauli could blink, his soon-to-be-tamed horse jumped from behind the bushed, wild and quick. Sauli gasped. The horse kept looking and turning around, throwing kicks in the air. Sauli could tell he was scared, from the way his ears were flat on his head, and how wide his eyes were.  
And then, from somewhere next to bushes, Adam calmly walked in the pitch, his two servants standing behind a tree.  
Calm. Adam was so fucking calm like he wasn’t in a pitch with the wildest horse on earth.  
Sauli swore to punish Niko for giving Adam clothes. Yes, he did say decent clothes, but Adam looked like a fucking god, in tight pants, war boots and a navy blue jumper. Saul had intended to come see his horse being tamed, not Adam. Fuck.  
Why was he acting like a teenage girl? The guy already hated him, he had made it obvious enough.  
Adam stood in the middle of the pitch, the horse dangerously close to him. Sauli’s heart was breaking out of his ribcage.  
And then, all of a sudden, Adam did something that made Sauli’s breath hitch.  
He slowly dropped on his knees, and laid on the ground with open arms and closed eyes.  
WHAT.  
What the hell was he doing?  
Sauli watched with wide open eyes that the horse’s attention was on Adam. He stood there still, looking at Adam who looked like a corpse.  
After what felt like a year, the horse got a bit closer to Adm.  
Sauli was dying inside. What if he kicked him? Adam couldn’t defend himself, no one could. He was fucking LAYING ON THE GROUND!  
The horse got a bit closer.  
Sauli’s breath hitched. God he couldn’t look, the horse was standing right above Adam.  
Just when Sauli was about to jump in the middle of the pitch to distract the horse from Adam, he ducked his long neck down, and gently, so painfully gently licked Adam’s fingers.  
Adam slowly, very, very slowly opened his blue eyes, looking back at the dark pair of eyes above him.  
Time seemed to stop. Sauli didn’t dare to move, mesmerized by the sight.  
Ever so slowly, Adam brought his hand up and put it on the horse’s cheek.  
The horse didn’t back away, much to Sauli’s surprise. Adam brought his other hand up, and wrapped both arms around the animal’s neck. The horse stood like that for a few seconds, then raised his neck and brought Adam up to his feet, their foreheads touching.  
The sight was so beautiful Sauli wanted to cry.  
Not moving an inch, Adam took a carrot out from his pocket, and held it in front of the horse.  
The animal didn’t move.  
Adam tried, shook the carrots in front of the horse, but no. he just kept staring back, his cheek still under Adam’s palm.  
Adam sighed and leaned in to slowly kiss the horse’s face. Then he gently stepped back and whistled.  
The two hiding servants came from behind the tree and stood behind the horse, gently leading him to the stable.  
So Adam was finished for the first day.  
Sauli jumped down from the wall. Fixing his clothes, he stepped closer to Adam who had his back to him.  
“Hey,” he said. Adam jumped, turning around, a frown painting his beautiful features as soon as his eyes landed on Sauli.  
“What are you doing here?” he questioned in an annoyed tone. Sauli raised his eyebrows.  
“Came to see the training, of course. It’s my horse after all. The only thing I’ll have… from here.” He couldn’t help the shadow of sadness shading his bright blue eyes.  
“So they’re true. Rumors, I mean,” Adam smirked. “Good.”  
Sauli felt like he was kicked in stomach. His breath came short and his eyes widened.  
“What?” he managed to gasp.  
“Nothing, I mean, I’ve always wanted your sister to take the crown after your parents. This way, she will.” Adam said easily.  
Sauli swallowed. This was the first time in his life, meeting someone who thought he wasn’t qualified enough.  
“O-oh,” Sauli choked. “Right, yeah.”  
“Can you do me a favor? Don’t come to watch me train him, I need privacy in that. I’d hate it if someone abused my privacy, no matter who they are. Specially you.”  
So, this Adam guy wasn’t Sauli’s biggest fan.  
Sauli’s throat felt raw. He turned without another word, and walked away.  
How dared he? He was just a stable boy!  
Sauli could swear that Adam was smiling.

 

“What about the Western Lands?” princess Sara questioned.  
“They won’t be a threat, don’t worry. They’re on our side.” Sauli answered as he continued walking down the garden with his beloved sister. “The main thing you should worry about, however,” he continued, “Is your marriage. People will start rivaling each other for your hand in marriage, but most of them will be just jerks who want to have a say in ruling our land, and of course, gold.”  
“Who said I’m gonna get married?” Sara perked up.  
Sauli gasped. “What do you mean, you’re not gonna get married because you’re worried about the country’s safety?”  
“If that’s what it takes then yes. Not such a big deal.”  
“Not a big deal?” Sauli shook his head. “But-But you deserve to be loved! To find someone who loves you! To have a life that you enjoy with your loved ones! You- “  
“You did the same thing brother, remember?” Sara pointed out bitterly. “My reasons are the same as yours.”  
“But that’s exactly why I’m stopping you! I sacrificed my own life, love, and happiness for you! So you could leave the way you want!” Sauli insisted.  
“Please Sauli, I really, really don’t wanna talk about it now, please.” Sara bent her head down.  
Sauli opened his mouth when he heard footsteps. Slowly, he turned and-  
Okay, not footsteps.  
A horse.  
HIS horse, walking around behind the bushes. What was he doing there alone? HE WAS DANGEROUSE!  
“Sara, stay close and quiet, please.” He whispered and wrapped his arm around her.  
“What’s wrong?” she whispered back.  
“TYAN!” Someone shouted. “GET BACK HERE!”  
Adam?  
Sara gasped as a young man ran from behind the bushes, suddenly stopping by the sight of them.  
There stood Adam, flushed and worn out and sweaty, panting softly and staring back at the two, horse forgotten.  
“Ever heard of bowing?” Sauli glared. Of course he remembered the boy’s behavior.  
Adam’s eyes widened in surprise by the prince’s sudden change of heart, but bowed anyways. “S-Sorry I… I just came to take Tyan back, didn’t mean to trespass your privacy.”  
“Tyan?” Sauli repeated. “YOU named MY horse?”  
Adam rolled his eyes. “Well, I needed to call him something right? Or else I couldn’t tame him, or train him, even.”  
“You’re actually lucky it’s a nice name,” Sauli said. “Or else-“  
“Or else what?” Adam said bitterly. “You would have my head because I chose a name for your horse without permission? I would end up in jail because of naming A HORSE? Are you really like that? This just explains I was right about you earlier!”  
Sauli didn’t want to feel guilty, he hadn’t done anything! But why was he regretting what he said? He simply thought he had the right to choose a name for his horse himself. Didn’t he?  
“You’re dismissed,” he breathed out.  
Adam flashed him a half-glare, then turned around without bowing, and whistled. Out of nowhere, Sauli’s horse-or Tyan, whatever-appeared in front of them.  
“He’s…he’s beautiful, Sauli…” His sister whispered as they watched Adam guide the horse away.  
So he still couldn’t ride him. Nonetheless, it was still a great progress.  
“Yeah, he is,” he answered. “Probably the most beautiful piece of art alive. Fell in love with him the second I saw him, you now I have a thing for black horses-”  
“I was talking about the boy,” Sara smirked. “Not the horse.”  
“ADAM?” Sauli almost screamed, rather girlishly. God, he would be so embarrassed about this, but not now. NOW, he needed to register what the fuck his sister had said.  
“That’s his name? Suits him,” Sara said. She smirked. “Aw, look at my baby brother, all cute and blushing here. So someone has a crush, right?”  
God, right now Sauli really hated her.  
“Shut up,” he hissed.  
“Oh, confirmed then. Don’t worry though, I won’t steal him or anything. I’m more into brown eyes. Or blondes. This one was certainly none of them. Doesn’t make him less gorgeous though.” Sara said coolly.  
Sauli blushed. He couldn’t tell if it was from anger or embarrassment. Maybe both.  
“Are you even listening to yourself? What the hell are you even SAYING?” he shot back.  
“The fact that my baby brother FUCKING FINALLY likes someone. That’s all, really.” She said more seriously. “Look, I hate to remind you but… you’re leaving in less than three months. No secrets then, at least not to me. As your sister, I CLEARLY noticed that you kind of like him. You only have two options with him though,” She seemed hell serious, it was kind of scary. “One, you’ll mess around with him in the time you have before leaving. Sleep with him and enjoy the sex and all that. Two, get him the fuck out of your head because you SHOULDN’T even think about him when you’re gonna get married to a royal princess, in a deal that YOU’VE made, in order to save everyone. So pick one.”  
“I don’t like him,” Sauli insisted, still blushing.  
“Deep, deep denial brother. Stop, I said no secrets, okay? It’s annoying.” Sara frowned.  
“ I-Fuck, okay-I just think he’s hot, okay? That doesn’t mean anything.” He admits.  
“Look, in less than three months, you’re not EVEN ALLOWED to think of anyone as hot, except the princess. Beside, you’ll be hanged if you even THINK of boys that way. They don’t even know you’re gay, no one does. Gay and married to the princess? Hell no.” Sara pointed out.  
“It was supposed to be a talk about YOUR marriage, not mine.” Sauli laughed.  
“Well, guess it was meant to be then,” She smirked. “But I’m serious. Get the boy to sleep with you, at least once. So you’ll remember the memory when you’re too sick of princess’ boobs and you feel like throwing up.”  
“HOLY SHIT, SHUT UP!”  
Laughter filled the garden.

 

“Tsk, tsk, tsk,”  
Sauli groaned.  
“Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk,”  
What the fuck?  
Cursing under his breath, Sauli stood up and went to stand next to his bedroom’s window, looking down at the small pitch behind the castle.  
So it was Adam who was making these noises. For Tyan. Amused, Sauli watched as Adam sat on the ground in front of the horse and started…  
What the hell.  
SINGING?  
Sauli couldn’t quite recognize the words, but Adam was definitely singing. His toes itched to go down there and hear Adam’s voice better, but it just didn’t feel right. Adam had told him not to come and watch the training, and even though Sauli had no idea WHY, he intended to respect that.  
Sighing, he turned to walk away when he suddenly heard a whistle.  
“HEY YOU, PRINCELLING!”  
No one, NO ONE in their right minds dared to call Sauli that. The boy was a fucking idiot.  
A gorgeous one, though.  
Sauli opened the window completely. “WHAT?”  
“DO COME DOWN, OKAY? I MIGHT WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING!” Adam yelled back.  
Show him what?  
Fuck Sauli, no need to act like a hormonal teenage girl, get a fucking grip.  
Without answering, Sauli rushed down to the pitch.

 

Sauli gasped.  
He really couldn’t blame himself though, the sight was a motherfucking breath taker.  
Adam, all smirking and sunny, sitting on the horse’s back.  
“So you… You’ve already tamed him? That was… quite fast right?” Sauli stuttered, eyes still on the horse.  
At Adam’s perfect lean body, of course.  
Adam grinned. “Consider yourself lucky then. For having me.”  
Somewhere deep down, Sauli thinks he should really do that.  
“C’mon, give it a try.”  
“Give what a try?”  
Adam rolled his eyes. “Touch your horse, I don’t know! He’s gonna be yours, and he still doesn’t even know you. That’s not good, you know. He should get used to you.”  
Sauli just stared. Because what else could he do, when there was this beautiful boy on the most beautiful horse alive, staring down at him with ocean blue eyes?  
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.  
“Earth to prince Sauli, are you there?”  
Sauli snapped out of his thoughts. “Sorry I… guess I’m a bit distracted right now…”  
“Stay here please, prince, if it doesn’t hurt your glorious time. I’ll go grab some carrots, you stay with Tyan till I come back.” without waiting for an answer, Adam slowly hoped down, kissed Tyan’s nose and whispered something in his ear, and then walked the other way.  
Sauli took a deep breath, staring at Tyan. The horse seemed to do the same, curiously moving his ears up and down while staring back at Saui. Out of nowhere, he suddenly got closer, almost an inch from Sauli’s face, his breath all over Sauli’s upper boy.  
Sauli’s breath hitched. Not that he was scared-  
But just a little bit.  
Frozen, he swallowed and looked at Tyan in the eye. Deep, innocent and calm shade of brown, slightly wet.  
Okay, maybe he wasn’t that scared.  
Just when he was considering bringing his hands up to touch Tyan’s cheek, he felt a heavy weight on his shoulder.  
Fuck.  
Tyan was suddenly behind him, his head on Sauli’s shoulder, nuzzling to is neck.  
Sauli wanted to cry.  
“Don’t panic like that dear price, you’ll scare him away.” Came Adam’s voice from somewhere behind Sauli.  
Ignoring Adam’s mocking, Sauli choked out, “What do I do?”  
Adam came to stand in front of him, a few carrots in his hands. He smirked. “You’re asking me? It’s your horse.”  
“So what?”  
“So what?” Adam snorted. “So what? What the hell? I don’t know, touch him or something! Let him hear your voice, caress him, c’mon! You’re boring, and horses don’t like that. Ugh, do something!”  
Slowly, Sauli turned around, and hugged the horse’s neck. Tyan stilled for a little bit, then nuzzled closer to Sauli’s neck.  
“Hey there beautiful,” Sauli whispered. “Gorgeous one, aren’t you baby? Such a good boy, I love you,” He continued whispering sweet shit in the horse’s ear. When he turned around, he saw Adam who was gaping funnily.  
“What?” he raised his eyebrows.  
“Nothing just,” Adam managed to stop gaping. “Never thought you were such a softie.”  
Sauli’s features suddenly went cloudy with sadness. “If I weren’t a softie, I wouldn’t have gone to sleep crying the whole night for three years. If I weren’t a softie, I wouldn’t have agreed to lose everything just so my people could live better. If I weren’t one, I wouldn’t have sold myself to them, leaving my family, friends, kingdom and people behind.” His eyes were suddenly burning with tears, and there was nothing he could do. “Look, I have absolutely no idea why you hate me this much-and no, please don’t deny it, it’s bloody obvious-but I just want you-and everyone else who hate me-to know that I… that I tried my best. I swear. I fought each and every day, almost died once, but came back again even when I wasn’t fully recovered. I begged every king to help us. And-and I… just… can’t take the hate on me. Not when it’s my last two months here, not when I’m going to lose everything in two months,” He found Adam gazing softly at him, and whoa wait, why were his cheeks wet? Did he just cry in front of Adam and made himself look even weaker? What would Adam-  
“Hey,” Adam whispered kindly. It felt nice, really nice to Sauli’s ears. “Please stop crying, okay? I don’t hate you, I never did. I just… didn’t like you… in general…” Adam shrugged.  
“But why? I mean, what have I ever done to you?”  
“That’s… that’s a bit personal,” Adam said dryly.  
Sauli really, really wanted to know more but Tyan kept smelling him and poking his shoulders. Adam suddenly laughed, and okay, maybe it WAS a bit too soon to be in love with someone.  
“C’mon, it’s time.” Adam announced.  
“Time for…?”  
“You should ride him, he’s ready for that. He should get used to you eventually.”  
Sauli panicked. “What? I mean, are you sure? Maybe he isn’t ready just yet, what if…”  
“Don’t you trust me?” Adam brought his head closer.  
Sauli could just lean in and kiss him.  
Except for, well, he actually couldn’t.  
“No,” Sauli choked out miserably. “It’s-it’s not that-I just-I mean-”  
“Oh, come on, PRINCESS!”  
Without the slightest hint of warning, Adam put his arms around Sauli’s waist and lifted him up easily, put him on Tyan’s back.  
Sauli squealed like a girl. “WHAT-”  
“Grab on, but please don’t pull his hair,” Adam smirked. “It may be the last thing you’ll ever do.”  
“You do realize that I’m the heir to the kingdom-or was, whatever-why are you the only one who doesn’t seem to treat me like it? You just BLOODY LIFTED ME-”  
Tyan moved a bit forward to Adam, nudging him away slightly. Sauli froze. “What’s going on?”  
“He likes you,” Adam smiled. SMILED. LIKE A FUCKING MILLON SUNRAYS.  
“Wha-how?” Sauli gaped.  
Adam shrugged. “You’re a lighter rider. Shorter, too.” He smiled again and kissed Tyan’s long cheek. “Good boy, walk a little bit, yeah?”  
“Weird. How does he even understand what you say?”  
“He doesn’t, really,” Adam shook his head. “But he understands my tone, whether I’m angry, gentle, upset or happy. So do you wanna ride him a bit? Just walking.”  
Sauli hesitated. “Only if you come too.”  
“Such a coward,” Adam snorted, but Sauli could see he was joking.  
“Hey!”  
Adam threw his head back and laughed, but walked right next to them all the way.

 

“SO NO ONE’S OUT THERE, RIGHT?” Sauli yelled above all the noises.  
It was defiantly the angriest version of rain Sauli had witnessed in his entire life. Harsh lightings lighting up the sky for like two second, and disappearing with a loud bolt. It had started ten minutes ago, but it had gotten aggressive in that little time.  
“NO, EVERYONE’S IN THE CASTLE, EXCEPT-”  
“”WHO?”  
“I guess your horse tamer’s still out there...”  
Sauli was fucking in love. Seriously. He didn’t even wait to hear what Niko was saying, he just rushed off to the training pitch.  
“ADAM?” he yelled, looking around.  
God, he was fucking freezing. “ADAM, WHERE ARE YOU?” He was starting to get worried. “PLEASE ANSWER!”  
Somewhere in the bushes, someone moaned. “Adam?” Sauli went closer.  
There was Adam, curled into a ball on the mud, shivering like jelly, with hair in his face and tears in his eyes. His breaths came out short as he was laid on the ground, curling even more to himself.  
Shivering? No. Adam was FUCKING SHAKING.  
Sauli could hear his heart breaking.  
“Holy god Adam! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE-”  
If it wasn’t for Adam’s cute-and almost worrying sneeze, he would have continued, but well.  
He leaned down, picked the mess Adam was up on his arm, bridal style. Adam seemed to be crying and shuddering at the same time, unable to speak. Besides, he could barely see anything.  
“Ssh,” Sauli slightly rocked him back and force as he almost ran to find the castle door. “It’s alright, ssh, stop crying okay? I’m right here, easy.”  
Adam was still aware, he curled himself into Sauli’s warm chest a clutched on his robe tightly and GOD, how was Sauli even alive?  
“Oh, you found him! c’mon let’s take him to-”  
“NO Niko, I’m taking him to my own room.” Sauli answered as he rushed upstairs, Adam limp in his arms. He kicked his door open.  
“It’s alright, okay?” He said as he slowly laid Adam down on his own bed. “I’ll go grab some towels and warm dry clothes for you, just wait here.”  
Adam just looked up at him from under his lashes miserably, and nodded shakily. He couldn’t even move, all spread open arms and legs on the bed, head to a side. Sauli wanted to cry.  
Instead, he ordered some hot water and went and grabbed some of his own clothes, hoping they would fit on Adam. Grabbing some of his own towels, he went back to find Adam fast asleep, slightly moaning from pain. Poor boy probably had caught the flu or something.  
“What the hell were you even doing under the rain, you idiot?” Sauli whispered as he sat next to the sleeping figure, and slowly started drying Adam’s silky hair with a towel, careful not to wake him. He found himself staring lovingly at the younger one’s features, admiring the work of art that was his face. Adam looked so much younger in sleep, so soft and innocent. And with his head on Sauli’s lap, Sauli was struggling for breaths.  
And of course that’s when Sara decided to jump in the room.  
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a storm quite like this-oh, hey,” She smirked as soon as her eyes landed on Adam. “Sorry, didn’t know you had company. And oh my-MY GOD-you’re DRYING his hair now? You hopeless lovesick prince!”  
“Please keep it down,” Sauli begged. “I really don’t wanna wake him, he was crying the whole time and if I wasn’t there, he probably would’ve died. He was,”Sauli’s throat hurt with a heavy lump. “He was shaking and sobbing and coughing at the same time, I…”  
“Sauli calm down! He’ll be alright, okay? The nurses will take care of him tomorrow, he’ll be fine.” She smiled. “You’re totally in love though…”  
“I’m not-”  
“Oh yeah, so it’s just normal for a prince to take the stable boy to his own bedroom instead of taking him to the nurses, lay him down on his own bed, give him his own clothes, pull his head on his lap and FUCKING DRY HIS HAIR WITH HIS OWN TOWELS? I’m your sister, stop lying to me, will you?”  
Sauli just sighed. “Maybe you’re right. But it just makes things look even worse, seeing how I can never-and how he doesn’t-”  
“If it helps you feel any better, I guess he likes you too.” Sara smiled at his gaping brother. “Yesterday, when you were riding Tyan… I was watching closely and I swear, he was staring at you with a fond smile ALL THE FUCKING TIME. You didn’t see it because you were so scared of falling down, but he wasn’t even looking at the horse. Just you.” Sara yawned. “I again apologize for interrupting your… well, special treatment. I’m gonna go sleep now, and don’t forget, all I said was truth.” She closed the door carefully behind her, tiptoeing downstairs.  
Sauli looked down at Adam. Then carefully, really carefully, he leaned down and pressed his lips on Adam’s soft, cold cheek, his lips lingering for a few seconds. Adam sighed peacefully in sleep, and okay.  
Maybe Sauli really was in love.

 

Sauli woke up with a start.  
Blinking for several times, he panicked as he felt something clutch his naked upper body. A hand.  
What the fuck was Adam doing on the floor?  
Sauli actually remembered putting him on his own bed and choosing to sleep on the floor himself so Adam could be more comfortable, but now he was faced with Adam next to him, his head against Sauli’s side and his hands on Sauli’s chest, their legs tangled.  
Maybe he was dreaming.  
But NO, he could feel Adam’s hot breath on his naked side, so okay, maybe he wasn’t. Who cared when he was shirtless and had Adam’s body almost pressed to him and his breath all over him?  
No one.  
Taking a deep shuddered breath, Sauli tried to move away and stand up, but he hadn’t even gotten an inch away when Adam grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back down, pressing his face to Sauli’s neck.  
It’s safe to say that Sauli kind of died young.  
“Stop moving,” Adam suddenly muttered, with his head in Sauli’s neck.  
“Whoa whoa whoa, you’re awake?” Sauli slowly sat up, careful that Adam’s head wouldn’t hit the floor. “What the hell-why are you sleeping here?” he blushed a bit.  
Adam didn’t even open his eyes, he just shrugged. “You’re warm.”  
Sauli rolled his eyes. “Warmer than the five sheets I left on you?”  
“Yeah,” Adam smiled. “Also, I’m a cuddler, so you see…” he opened his eyes. “You seemed like an invitation.”  
Sauli blushed. AGAIN.  
Adam sat up, suddenly serious. “H-hey, thanks for-for last night, really. I-I really don’t know what to say-but you’re really a great person- it’s-”  
God, was Adam stuttering?  
“It’s alright,” Sauli interrupted Adam’s babbling. “But please do tell, what the hell were you doing under the rain? You could’ve…”  
Sauli couldn’t say it.  
“Actually, the storm started pretty quickly… I suddenly found myself under thunders and black clouds… I…”  
“Are you alright now?” Sauli bit his lip, placing his palm on Adam’s forehead.  
“No,” Adam closed his eyes at the soothing cool touch. “My throat hurts like a motherfucker, and I feel bombs going off in my head. I-” he started coughing.  
Sauli panicked, put his arm on Adam’s back. “Okay, I’ll go call the nurses-”  
“No!” Adam exclaimed. “I mean, can you-can you stay here a bit longer? Sorry no-sorry, that was stupid-”  
“Of course I’ll stay,” Sauli said softly as he sat back down on the floor. He really couldn’t bring himself to complain.  
“You saved my life,” Adam stared at him.  
“It really wasn’t such a big deal, I just-”  
“It was,” Adam insisted. “Maybe I didn’t like you that much at first, but now… now I think you’re probably the kindest person on earth-no, let me finish-Remember when you asked why I didn’t like you, and I said it was personal? Wanna know why now?” Sauli shook his head, not daring to talk when Adam was suddenly being so open with him.  
“When I was a boy,” Adam started. “Barely eleven, I guess, I lost my father. It was,” Adam took a deep breath. “It was a stormy night, and we were all at home, when someone came to our door to inform my father that the queen and the young prince-you-were lost in the forest. My father was one of your forces, and he was one of best ones. His loyalty to the kingdom didn’t let him stay, and he… he left,” Adam didn’t wipe his tears, because Sauli was already wiping them off sweetly. “He-he never came back. it seemed like you and your mother were stuck in the storm and couldn’t find your way back in the storm, and all the king’s forces were almost disappointed, when my father suddenly found you two,” he shuddered. “From what I’ve been told, he somehow managed to lead you guys out, but in the last minute,” he took a deep breath, “Came the wolves. He… he defended you from them, and you ran away safely with your mom, but… but no one came to save HIM,” Adam’s sight was blurry. “Next morning, I ran away from home to the forest, without telling my mom… and I found-”  
He wasn’t able to finish his sentence, because he was pulled into a tight hug and Sauli was crushing him, his warm breath tickling the side of Adam’s neck. Adam’s eyes widened as he noticed how wet Sauli’s face was. “God, I’m so sorry,” came from the crying prince. “I’m so, so sorry, sorry…sorry,” he continued sobbing apologies into Adam’s neck.  
“It’s not like… like it’s your fault, stop crying,” Adam pulled Sauli away, holding him by his shoulders. “Please…”  
Sauli didn’t seem to listen though, he continued shaking with sobs. “Why-why didn’t y-you ever come t-to the castle to tell m-my father?” He grabbed Adam’s-well, technically, HIS-shirt. “Father would’ve h-h-helped, if he kn-knew what had ha-happened… y-you didn’t h-have to go through this a-alone, after finding your…y-you father’s bo-body…In-in the forest-god, you-you were only elev-ven-”  
Sauli stopped.  
He stopped thinking, talking and sobbing all of a sudden. He stopped breathing.  
He stopped functioning altogether as soon as he felt a pair of warm, dry lips on his quivering ones.  
It felt too beautiful to be real. Sauli suddenly calmed down, feeling soothingly warm all over as he stilled, Adam’s lips still on his without intending to move.  
There was nothing more Sauli could wish. He wanted to tuck the moment and put it in his pocket.  
After what felt like a lifetime, Adam slowly pulled away, fear visible in his blue orbs. “Better?”  
Sauli smiled weakly. “Better than I’ve ever felt in my entire life…”  
“So,” Adam bit his lips, avoiding to look at him. “So y-you liked it? The k-kiss I mean,” he stuttered.  
Adam was so adorable blushing and worried like that, Sauli couldn’t help leaning in and placing a soft kiss on his cheek, letting his lips lingering there for a moment.  
“I loved it… in fact, I’ve been wanting to do that since the first day I saw you.”  
Adam smiled shyly. “Really?”  
Sauli traced the line of Adam’s jawline. “Really.” He paused. “I really do like you, I think it was kinda obvious.”  
Adam laughed softly. “It really was,” he smiled. “I’m lucky, you know.”  
“Lucky how?”  
“Lucky that I had the chance to meet you. You are… you are the greatest person I’ve ever come across. When I woke up in the middle of the night and found myself in your room, on YOUR bed, while you were sleeping rather uncomfortably on the floor, I realized how much I’d been missing in all these years, when I could like you instead of being such a big idiot for hating you. Also, I guess these are not mine,” he grabbed the collar of his-Sauli’s-shirt. “Your gesture was so sweet, I would’ve fainted if I were a girl.”  
“I’m glad you aren’t,” Sauli leaned closer to hug Adam’s board chest. He sighed happily. “Still can’t believe YOU were the one who made the first move though.”  
“I couldn’t control it, I just HAD TO stop your crying, and well… let’s just say I chose the best way possible.” He smirked.  
Sauli pinched his cheek. “Careful lover boy, this is the prince you’re flirting with.”  
“So what?” Adam answered playfully. “What can he possibly do?”  
“So, he can order breakfast and orange juice for you, then he can take you down to the nurses and let them check on you and give you remedies, and after that he can take you back upstairs and lay you down on his own bed, tuck you in his own sheets, and let you stay there until you’re completely healed. Sound like a plan?”  
Adam just stared, not being able to take in so much sweetness.  
“Earth to Adam, you’re still here?”  
Adam swallowed. He never thought he could have the chance to fall in love.  
Fall so hard, and so quick.  
He did.

 

“OH MY GOD, HE KISSED YOU?” Sara exclaimed as she almost fell from the armchair. “TELL ME MORE, MORE!”  
“Shh, Sara please,” Sauli panicked. “Shut the hell up before anyone finds out, will you?”  
“What the fuck? You can’t just come in to my room without knocking and bluntly saying ‘Adam kissed me’ and then fucking expect me to calm down! I want details, now!”  
“That can wait. Right now, I just wanted to inform you that you were right… he feels the same way.”  
“Told ya.”  
“So isn’t anyone suspicious? About me taking him to my own room and being so kind to a so called stable boy?”  
“It’s not like much people know, but even if they did, they wouldn’t mind, really. They love you. Everyone here does.” She smiled. “Speaking of which, how does it feel? To be loved I mean.”  
Sauli went weak on his knees. “Being loved is great, you know. But being loved by a person whom you had the craziest crush on is too heavenly that I think it should be announced illegal. I think,” he took a deep breath. “He doesn’t love me yet, but… but I think I do.”  
“God Sauli, I never thought this could happen this way, I’m so happy for you,” she had tears in her eyes. “Cherish it,”  
Sauli smiled. “Oh, I will.”

 

“Morning, sleepyhead,” Sauli stepped into his room after the longest morning, it was almost noon. He had been writing letters for the western trades and he was fucking exhausted.  
Adam didn’t answer, but Sauli knew he was awake, the way he was trying to choke a giggle was obvious. He sat on the bed.  
“Oh, I wonder where Adam went,” he said playfully. “Maybe to the nurses? So I’ll just go downstairs to-”  
“NO!” Adam sat up, laughing. “Hey, hi. How was your day?”  
“Bloody exhausting. I think I’m gonna die right now,” he dramatically fell back on the bed, bringing his wrist to his forehead. “Quick Adam, I may need mouth to mouth.”  
Adam blushed. “You may get sick-”  
“Shut up”  
Adam slowly moved toward Sauli, looking down at him with smiling eyes and blushed cheeks, Sauli under him and between his two arms.  
Okay, maybe Sauli shouldn’t have asked that, he wasn’t sure he could take the way Adam was staring at his lips.  
Adam slowly leaned down, placing his lips on Sauli’s for the second time in the day. Sparks were decorating his vision and he couldn’t help the moan at the back of his throat when Sauli wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him down, deepening the kiss. Adam could write poems about the way Sauli’s lips were moving against his, and the way he had bit down on Adam’s lower lip, asking for permission which was gladly given.  
After a few minutes of exploring Adam’s mouth, Sauli pulled away, gasping for air. Adam was panting and looking at him with wide eyes, a lovely blush decorating his neck and cheeks.  
“So how are you feeling, beautiful?” Sauli managed to ask after a deep breath. Adam smiled dreamily.  
“Amazing. I feel like I can just die happily now.” He yawned.  
“Still sleepy? No way!” Sauli ruffled his hair. “So your throat is okay? And your headache, is it over? No fever? What about your-”  
“I’m fine! You’re worse than my mom,” Adam whined, but happiness was clear in his voice.  
“Forgive the prince for being annoying,” Sauli pouted. “I thought I was being sweet.” He crossed his arms and continued pouting like a baby.  
Adam kissed the pout off his lips. “You are. You’re so sweet it makes me wanna throw up.”  
Sauli huffed. “What a nice way of describing my personality.” He touched Adam’s cheek. “So if you’re sure you’re alright, then how about going for a little picnic outside? I miss Tyan.”  
Adam’s eyes were suddenly watery.  
“Oh my god, sorry,” Sauli panicked, holding Adam’s face in his palms. “Sorry, did I say something? Was it me? Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”  
“No, no it’s just… no one… no one’s ever cared about me this much… I mean, picnic? Me? Are you sure? I’m… I’m just a stable boy and you… you’re the prince-”  
“Oh, shut up you,” Sauli scowled. “It’s none of anyone’s business, I’m old enough to do whatever I like without being questioned. Everyone can just go fuck off.”  
“Look, I don’t think I’m worse it if you get in trouble-”  
“What the hell? Trouble for what, exactly? For hanging out with someone whom I like? I don’t think so,” he nudged Adam. “Now get up, lazy ass. I’ll go grab some food for us, you go and get Tyan. We’re going to a small garden near the east wing, the place is all mine. And it’s really beautiful by the way. No one knows about it.”  
Adam gasped. “And you’re taking ME there?”  
“Hell yes. COME ON!” Without warning, he pushed Adam and laughed as he rolled off the bed and landed with a loud thud.  
Life was fucking beautiful.

 

“We’re here,” Sauli announced as he jumped down from Tyan’s back, helping Adam down too. The poor boy was still weak from the cold, but had agreed to come because well, Sauli had ASKED.  
“I…” Adam laughed. Sauli frowned.  
“What?”  
“I…” Adam laughed again. “THIS is your secret place?”  
“Yeah, what’s wrong?” Sauli frowned.  
“Nothing, just,” Adam laughed again. “I thought it was MY secret place. I’ve spent quite time here, you know. All alone. Never knew it was… yours.”  
“You’ve been here?” Sauli gasped. “So it was YOUR shoes the other day? The navy blue pair,” He shook his head. “Once I came here to rest and ease my head a bit, and I saw a pair of navy blue shoes under the apple tree, right there,” he pointed to the tallest tree in the middle of the garden. “They were YOURS? Oh god,” he started laughing at Adam’s shocked expression.  
“Wait, they were HERE? Fuck, I remember how much I searched for them after that day… I searched this place several times, and I didn’t find them. It was my favorite pair, you know,” He frowned at the prince. “So YOU picked them. Hell, you’re the GODDAMN PRINCE, and you picked MY shoes for yourself when you could just IGNORE them. Wait. I need time to take this in.” He mocked.  
“I know, maybe what I did was a bit… cheap,” Sauli looked at Adam’s raised eyebrows. “Okay fine, VERY cheap, but you know… they were really beautiful and they were new… so you know…”  
“Of course they were! I had bought them the week before! You know what? We weren’t very rich those days-not that we are now, whatever-and they were my FAVORITE pair, and look, the PRINCE STOLE them. Just in case it makes you feel guilty, I’d almost cried that day. Almost though.  
Sauli leaned closer to Adam’s face, barely an inch away. “I’ll buy you any pair you want,” He whispered.  
Adam’s face fell. “But…”  
“But what?”  
“Why? Why would you care about me that much? I mean,” he looked down at his feet. “You barely even know me…”  
“I would do that because,” Sauli played with Adam’s hair, messing it up. “I like you. You’re this gorgeous horse tamer I can’t take my off of. Enough answer? It’s none of anyone’s business.” He kissed Adam’s cheek. “By the way, don’t even THINK about getting your shoes back. They’re MINE, understood?”  
Adam smiled ear to ear, overwhelmed by Sauli’s sweet action. “Keep them. They match your eyes,”  
“Good boy,” Sauli smiled. “Now, if you’re quite finished worrying about shit, then how about we start our picnic?”  
“Only if you… nevermind, sorry.” Adam blushed.  
“Only if I kiss you?” Sauli smirked, more than glad to obey. He stood on his tip toes-why was Adam so tall, really?-and placed a short kiss on Adam’s smiling lips. “Now sit the hell down, you. I’m starving.”  
Adam used to think he would never stay alive long enough to find love, and he would die from either depression or hunger long before that.  
He was wrong.

 

“THAT WAS CHEATING!” Adam yelled as he tried to control his laughs. “THAT WAS SO CHEATING-YOU KNEW I WOULD GIVE IN TO THE KISS! YOU DISTRACTED ME, YOU LITTLE FILTHY CHEATER!”  
“Well,” Sauli shrugged while trying to hide his smile. “You didn’t give me the sandwich.”  
“Because it was mine!”  
“But I was hungry, ever considered that?”  
“Well, I was hungry too!”  
“You’re so much taller. I couldn’t grab it when you were holding it up, okay? So I kissed you, knowing it would distract you from it,” He smiled proudly. “It worked, see?”  
“Still, it was cheating.” Adam pouted. “Now I’m hungry, and we have nothing. I’ll never come to picnic with you again.”  
“What?” Sauli faked a gasp. “Because of a sandwich? Oh my God, did you hear that? That was the sound of my heart breaking. Oh no,” he put his palm on his chest and fell back on the ground, faking dramatic pants and moans.  
“Ridiculous,” Adam mumbled. Sauli faked another gasp.  
“You broke my heart, you cruel, heartless motherfucker… so what about all the kisses? All the ‘I love you’s?”  
Adam suddenly frowned, biting his lip. “I… I’ve never said ‘I love you’ to you…”  
Sauli stopped moving, coldness tugging at his lungs, not really wanting to know the answer of the question he was about to ask. “Does… does that mean you don’t?”  
Adam just stared at him blankly.  
Okay, maybe it was a bit-no, VERY-soon to think about love. Sauli was kind of sure he was all gone for Adam, but he wasn’t very sure about him. Maybe to him, it just meant having some inappropriate fun with the closeted prince who-  
“No”  
Wait, no what?  
“What?” Sauli blinked, forgetting his thoughts.  
“It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you,” Adam shook his head, looking down at Sauli who was still lying on the ground.  
“So you do?” Sauli’s heart was hammering loudly in his chest, he was sure Adam could hear it.  
“I…” Adam didn’t finish, staring deeply into Sauli’s eyes.  
Sauli gasped. “Do you?”  
Adam was still silent, but he was leaning down, burying his face in Sauli’s neck as Sauli turned his head to a side a bit. The he starting kissing Sauli’s weak spot under his ear, right before whispering, “I do.”  
At that, Sauli suddenly closed his eyes and let out a long, loud moan of pleasure, caused by both Adam’s words and his actions.  
When he was only sixteen, Niko-very shyly-had told him about how it felt-hearing someone say those three words to you-Niko had used the expression ‘walking on the clouds’.  
Sauli was REALLY walking on the clouds.  
Adam kept kissing his neck, teasing his weak spot as Sauli moaned and shivered under him, squirming and panting harshly. It was the first time someone was doing this to him. It was the first time ADAM was doing this to him. Adam suddenly bit down on the same spot, and Sauli let out an embarrassingly loud moan as he saw stars. “Ah-A-Adam…” he tried as he kept panting. “S-Stop pl-pleas…. Or else I’m g-gonna-”  
“That’s exactly what I want,” Adam whispered in his ear seductively. “Come on, Sauli…”  
Sauli couldn’t hold back, he was doing his best though, until Adam pulled the last trigger. “Come for ME baby,” He licked Sauli’s earlobe. “I…love…you…”  
That was all it took.  
Sauli fell over the edge with a whine, nails digging in to the layer of grass beneath him, screaming Adam’s name as he closed his eyes shut.  
He had a lover.

 

“What-where are we?” was the first thing that escaped Sauli’s mouth after waking up and finding his head in Adam’s lap, Adam’s fingers playing lazily with his hair.  
“Still in your so-called-secret place,” Adam looked down at him. “It’s almost sunset. I wanted to wake you so we could go back to the castle before anyone gets worried, but I just COULDN’T. You’re so beautiful when you’re asleep, did you know that?” Adam said softly.  
Sauli blushed. “Thanks… how long have I been out?”  
“About two hours, I guess. Gosh, you’re really not used to the Stuff, are you?” Adam smirked mockingly. “Fell asleep almost immediately after that. You were a moaning mess, babe. It was SO hot.”  
Sauli laughed. “Of course I’m not used to the stuff, I’ve never been in a relationship. Never really had the time or the chance, you know.” Sauli sat up and leaned close to Adam’s ear. “But that was before YOU.”  
Adam shivered. “Yeah?”  
“Yeah,” Sauli breathed right before he attacked Adam’s mouth in a desperate kiss, pushing Adam down and lying on top of him. Adam gasped out of shock when his back hit the ground, but Sauli didn’t let him even protest.  
Not that he actually WANTED to protest anyway.  
“No complaining,” Sauli mumbled, breaking the kiss. “It’s your turn to feel.”  
Adam moaned.  
But okay, honestly, who wouldn’t moan when he was receiving a hand job from the dominant prince?  
Sauli massaged his hands on the fabric of Adam’s pants, smirking proudly at how Adam kept squirming and was unable to form a single word.  
‘Really, when did life get so beautiful?’ was the thought that crossed his mind as he watched Adam come with a low moan of Sauli’s name. He stopped thinking and kissed Adam through it, until it was over and Adam was a flushed, moaning mess in his arm, his breaths hitting Sauli’s face.  
After a while of whispering sweet nonsense in Adam’s ear until he had calmed down from the aftermath of his pleasure, Sauli bit Adam’s earlobe, wanting his attention. “Hey gorgeous, how about we go up that hill over there and watch the sunset together? Then we can go back.”  
Adam laughed. “You’re so girlishly romantic, you know that?”  
Sauli pouted. “Well, I really doubt that, mister,” he raised an eyebrow. “Could a GIRL do what I did to you a few minutes ago?”  
“No,” Adam shook his head. “Never. But still, I think you’re too sweet for a boy.”  
“Well, maybe I’m just unique.”  
“You really are.”  
The sunset was beautiful from on top of the hill, but Sauli had missed it, too busy staring at Adam who-unlike him-was admiring the sight.  
Sauli frowned playfully. “Look at ME, I’m more beautiful.”  
“Nah, you aren’t. You’re just so confident.”  
“Okay, that hurt. Maybe ‘ll just jump down this hill, and die alone thinking you never loved me.”  
“I’d jump with you.”  
Sauli closed his eyes as he felt a heavy lump in his throat. “Let’s go back, before you start thinking about admiring the sunset instead of me for the rest of your life.”  
“What would you do?”  
“I’ll fucking destroy this hill so you’ll never be able to watch the sunset from here.”  
“You can’t.”  
“Oh yeah? Okay, then I’d kill myself on this hill so it would leave a bad memory and you’ll never come here.”  
“I won’t let you, though. I’d promise you that I won’t even know this hill. Won’t even remember what sun is.”  
“Now who’s being romantic here?”  
“The one who would destroy a hill so I wouldn’t watch the sunset instead of him. What was his name again? Sam? Stewart?”  
“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘Sexy’.”  
“No, it’s actually ‘Silly’.”  
Sauli grabbed his arm, dragging him toward Tyan. “Shut up and let’s go.”  
Adam was smiling during the whole ride on the horse, and Sauli was smiling into Adam’s back while massaging his shoulders. They were drawing attention in the castle yard, but Sauli didn’t give a shit. As long as Adam had agreed to come upstairs with him to his room and sleep next to him the night.  
Who the hell WOULD give a shit, anyway?

 

“You’re in love,” were the first words that escaped Niko’s mouth when he saw Sauli on the stairs.  
“Well, hello to you too,” Sauli smiled at his best friend. “Yes, I am. Obvious much?”  
“Awfully so,” Niko smiled back. “Don’t want you to keep him waiting upstairs, go. Just wanted to tell you that I noticed, and I’m really, REALLY happy for you. You’re radiating happiness.” Niko placed his hand on Sauli’s shoulder. “Cherish it,” Then his face went dark with sadness. “As long as you can.”  
Sauli blinked. No.  
No. No. He didn’t want to think about that yet. Just no.  
Without a word, Sauli turned and made his way upstairs, facing Adam who was standing at the doorway. Sauli faked a smile. “Why are you standing here? Get in,”  
Adam looked down. “What did he say?”  
“Who?”  
“Niko. What did he say?” Adam bit his lip. “Are you in trouble?”  
Sauli frowned. “What? No, no. Why do you think that?”  
“Nothing, just…” Adam sighed. “I thought you were in trouble for today.”  
Sauli shook his head. “Please just stop thinking you’re my dirty little secret. No one knows about us because they never asked. If they do, I’ll proudly announce you as my boyfriend.”  
Adam opened his mouth to say something, but with a look at Sauli’s face, he closed it again.  
Sauli KNEW what Adam wanted to say, and he was glad he had chosen not to mention it yet. Sauli wanted a happy three months, he didn’t want to spend it worrying about how soon it would end. No.  
“Let’s go inside, babe,” He put an arm around Adam’s waist and led him in, deciding not to bring up the subject anytime soon.  
He really wanted to forget that his happiness would mostly last for less than three months.

 

“Fuck this.” Sauli groaned. “I want a new head, one that doesn’t have bombs in it.”  
Adam laughed. “For someone who has a splitting headache, your sense of humor is still very much awake.”  
“And here,” Sauli sighs dramatically. “And here, I thought you actually loved me!”  
Adam snorted. “Really? You sure are not that stupid, are you?”  
“Shut up, fuck,” Sauli buried his head under the duvet. “Fuck you, you’re supposed to make me feel better, not mock me-what kind of a lover are you?”  
“The kind of lover who is going to give you a whole-body massage to reduce you pain, and then kiss you until you’re a drowsy, unsteady mess in his arms, and then tuck you into bed and stay awake until morning just in case you wake up in pain or in need of something. THAT kind of lover. Like that?”  
“Did it hurt?”  
Adam frowned. “Did what hurt?”  
“When you fell from heaven,” Sauli stares at him. “Did it hurt?”  
Adam gaped, but then smiled smugly. “No, because you were there to catch me. Now lay the fuck down on your stomach so I can begin the massage!”  
Sauli really had no choice.  
“So,” Sauli starts with a drowsy voice, while Adam is rubbing his back of neck and shoulders. “It’s been two months of US, babe, today is the anniversary-”  
“Which you had to go and ruin by finding a headache. Yeah. I already know that, thanks.”  
“Hey! It’s not like I chose to have a headache! Besides, I’m already feeling better, your hands are magic, WHEREVER they are.”  
“No talking dirty when I’m trying to give you a proper massage. You’re half naked already, and who knows-I might just lose control.”  
“I’d love to make you lose control, but that wasn’t my point,” Sauli turns a bit, enough to touch Adam’s bare feet. “My father, he gave me a key to some shady cottage in the middle of the forest, the most romantic place possible-where he spent his own honeymoon with my mom-and we can go there tonight. You, me, the stars and love. Sound like a plan?”  
“Still not over the way your parents accepted our relationship,” Adam muttered.  
“I was sure they would though. I fucking deserve happiness, the form of it doesn’t matter to them.”  
“We’ll go there in one condition,” Adam stopped massaging.  
“Which is,,,?”  
“WE’LL GO THERE IF YOU FUCKING SLEEP RIGHT NOW, YOU JERK! YOU NEED IT, YOU HAVEN’T BEEN SLEEPING PROPERLY FOR TWO DAYS, GODDAMMIT!”  
Sauli fell asleep almost right away, but he managed a quiet ‘I love you’ before drifting off.

 

‘…Release,  
Let it feel like, feel like falling  
Re-e-e-elease, oh let it feel like, feel like falling  
In this time, in this moment,  
We could crash together,  
I,  
Come alive, in slow motions,  
Let it last forever, I,  
Come alive…..’

“I love you,” Sauli says after Adam is done singing. “I really, really do. God, I’m so whipped.”  
Adam laughs. “You truly are. You drag me to the middle of the forest in a small cottage, then you lose your virginity to me, and afterwards, you ask me to sing for you. That’s even worse than whipped in my standards.”  
“Consider yourself lucky that YOU’RE the one I’m whipped for.” Sauli mumbles lazily, his lids already too heavy to be open.  
“Haha, yeah, sleep now, will you?”  
Sauli was already dreaming. He saw Adam frown, but he didn’t have the chance to ask him why.  
Nothing important, probably.

 

 

“Adam?”  
Sauli woke up alone, Adam’s sheets neatly folded next to him. “Adam, where are you?” he called louder this time. Standing up, he was heading to the kitchen when-  
A note. There was a note on the spot Adam had slept last night, right on top of the folded sheets. Frowning, Sauli picked it up. 

 

‘Dear Sauli,’ it read, unmistakably Adam’s handwriting.

‘This is a letter I never thought I would write. Specially not to you. But, since the universe has never been too fond of me, let’s just say I had no choice.  
Last night was… awesome. Probably the best night in my entire life, which is why I’m crying right now.  
Yes Sauli. I’m crying.  
I’m crying, because you’re so wonderful that it overwhelms me. I’m crying’ because of how beautiful you are, both inside and outside. Too beautiful for this world. For its people.  
For me.  
But you’re not mine. I’m losing you, and it’s not even one bit fair, but it’s happening.  
Three and a half weeks from now, you’re going to get married.  
The reason that this letter is going to be the only trace of me in your life from now, is that I can’t standing watching you hurt. I didn’t mention your arranged marriage when we started this, because I thought it would make you feel better. You seemed stranger with true happiness, so I wanted you to experience it before you were forced to leave everything you loved behind.  
I wanted you to be happy, because you deserve it more than anyone in the entire world.  
But I’ve left you now, so it’ll be easier for you to move on because you have three weeks time left. Enough to forget a stable boy and move on, right?  
I took Tyan for the very last ride before you take him with you, because I’ll really miss him. Don’t worry though. I’ll send him right back to the castle.  
Sauli. I’m sorry.  
Please don’t hate me, I don’t know if I’m strong enough to take it. Just… just forget me, like I was a simple passenger in your life, can you?  
And one more thing.  
Sauli…  
I love you.  
I love you so much it hurts. I’m sorry for not saying goodbye face-to-face, I wasn’t strong enough for that.  
I’m sorry.  
Love, Adam.’

 

Once, when he was nine years old, he had been in the middle of a street fight between two sellers who had misunderstood each other. They hadn’t even noticed Sauli, and at the end, he threw up over the street because one of the men had kicked him in the shin too hard that he could barely breathe anymore. He threw up and fainted, woken up in the hospital wing after two days.  
That’s exactly what he felt now. He inhaled sharply, trying to take air in as much as he could, and failed exhaling by the lack of strength. He blinked several times, but the words were still there, still unmistakably Adam’s handwriting, proving that this wasn’t a delusion.  
His intestines were trying to claw their way out of his stomach. The knot in his chest unraveled, but only so as to branch out like a spider web that wrapped around his intestines and squeezed down, a sharp burst of nausea. This is not happening. This is not fucking happening. What the fuck.

Sauli balled his hands into fists and counted to five, to ten, to thirty, tipping his head back against the wall and trying to time his breathing to the rhythm of his heartbeat. His heart kept beating high in his chest, and he digged his thumb into the dip between his collarbones, feeling the hectic stumble of his pulse. What the fuck.  
That was all his brain could come up with. What the actual fuckity fucked up fuck?  
Adam had LEFT?  
LEFT Sauli? So he could move on and marry the princess and save the kingdom like the superhero he already was?  
He had expected Sauli TO FORGET HIM? Just like that? Like they were over, as if they never even happened?  
As if he wasn’t Sauli’s first? As if he wasn’t the first one to steal the prince’s heart, soul and body?  
Just like that?  
Sauli dropped on his knees, not strong enough to take this all in on his feet. Tears started to blur his eyesight as he still held the letter, and he didn’t care that he was probably seconds from throwing up.  
So this was how it felt. A panic attack.  
Sauli was going to experience his very first panic attack, alone, caused by a boy he fucking LOVED.  
Alone. ALONE. It sucked.  
He suddenly started coughing, not finding the ability to stop them and get some air, the first sign of the start of a panic attack. Without even realizing it, he started coughing up blood, and he only noticed it when the letter was covered in little red spots. He felt dizzy once the coughs had stopped, and then he bend over the trash container and threw up nothing but blood.  
Okay, maybe a bit more than a heart attack. At least his eyesight wasn’t THAT blurry to miss what he saw in the trash.  
That explains the blood, then.  
Adam had fucking poisoned him.  
POISONED. With sleeping drugs, so he wouldn’t wake up while Adam was sneaking out.  
Sauli didn’t even have time to think about it more, because his body went limp as he laid down on the cold floor, and WOW.  
The last level of a panic attack, when a person can’t breathe anymore.  
Sauli tried sucking in a gulp, but ended up choking on it. He grabbed the mattress on the floor weakly, terrified of what was happening to him. If he died there, when would they find him? Today? Tomorrow? What would happen to the vow of marriage and friendship? Would the war still go on? Will his father give up?  
Okay wait, what the fuck.  
“Ah-hh-ah-haaahhh,” were the last voices he had managed to let out, before ters streamed down his face and his blue eyes were closed with sweat drops on them.

 

 

 

“Sauli, where the hell-I searched the whole castle for you!” Sara exclaimed as she stood as his doorway, panting.  
Sauli raised as eyebrow. “So you searched everywhere for me except my own room?”  
“Ah-don’t be a smartass for like, five seconds-this is actually important-”  
“What is it?” Sauli asked warily.  
“Tyan—he’s here…” Sara spoke unsurly. “Um, alone, and-”  
“I know very well that he’s come alone, Sara,” Sauli said dryly. “He no longer needs to be tamed, so we don’t need the stupid stable boy anyway. But it’s such a delight! He’s been lost in the forest for a month, and he’s alive? Take me to him!”  
He tried to ignore the heaviness in his chest caused by the words he said about Adam.  
He meant them. He really, really did.  
But it still hurt. Fucking stupid damn FEELINGS. What was wrong with never falling in love anyway?  
“Sauli, wait, I wanna”  
But Sauli was already downstairs, and Sara could hear him scream.

 

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?” Sauli yelled terrified as he stood there in from of Tyan, who was half covered in dried blood, and SHIT.  
Sauli would recognize that red jumper ANYWHERE, even if it was ripped and also covered in blood.  
“Sauli, calm down,” Niko bit his lip as he grabbed Sauli’s shoulders, pulling him into a hug. Sauli didn’t react, too shocked about the whole thing going on.  
“The blood isn’t-Tyan is absolutely okay, he’s only gone a bit thin, that’s all-we-I found him in the, um, middle of the, you know, forest and… and…”  
“Just fucking say it already!” Sauli whispered weakly against his chest.  
“He, um… A-Adam-that’s Adam’s blood, from when he, uh, was riding Tyan and it seems…it seems like they were attacked by…by wolves,” Niko hugged Sauli tighter. “From the way it seems, they were, uh, running from the wolves together and uh, well Adam had fallen down from Tyan’s back… I’m… I’m so sorry, but there’s almost no chance he’s alive, here,” He let go of Sauli and picked up something from the floor. “These are the only things we could find, his body-maybe he was-the wolves- I don’t know, we couldn’t find him, I’m-I’m so sorry…” he stared at Sauli with glassy eyes.  
But he never saw them, because they were closed, tears already streaming down.

 

 

2 weeks later  
“Take care, please,” the queen sniffled. “Don’t do anything stupid.”  
“I won’t,” Sauli said without the tiniest bit of emotion, not a single tear on his face.  
But no one could blame him. After crying the whole night for TWO WEEKS over something, someone, that was already Gone, he had no tears left. He hadn’t gotten actual sleep in the past month, and he had big, dark bags under his eyes  
And he had gotten extremely thin, to the point he couldn’t wear a lot of his pants or shirts, because they had gotten so loose. His eyes were never bright again, just a dull shade of a blue sky covered in dark, depressed clouds, that weren’t even able to bear tears anymore. His neck cramped, because lately, all he seemed to do was just sitting in his room and looking at the roof. Sara was scared of him, saying he looked like a corpse when he was doing that. Sauli agreed.  
He hadn’t talked to anyone. Niko practically begged him to say something, but all Sauli had done was giving him a blank look, that made Niko end up in tears as he hugged him. Sara had come to his room every single night, crying even worse than Niko, kissing his cheek, hugging him while whispering ‘we love you’ or ‘please say something’ or ‘baby brother’ but none of them worked. Sauli was isolated in his own mind, and the door was locked, meaning no one could get in and also he couldn’t get out.  
And then, there he was, ready to leave everything that was ever his, going to live the rest of his life miles away from his family, kingdom, people.  
“Please… please find a way to write to us,” Sara sniffled, jumping on him. Weakly, Sauli brought his arms up to wrap them around her tiny waist.  
“Sauli, I’m sorry,” even his father’s eyes were glassy. “I’m sorry for having been such a poor excuse of a king, letting my own son in such a situation. I’m…I’m so sorry I... I never wanted this to happen, to see you leave us… forever.”  
Sauli looked down, not able to see the sadness on their faces. He just nodded and turned around, wanting to get away before he ended up crying.  
Niko was standing next to Tyan, his blonde hair sticking to his forehead because of the wind. As soon as he saw Sauli, he opened his arm, and even though Sauli moved slowly, he didn’t hesitate to go in them.  
“I’ll miss you,” Niko whispered into his hair. “More than a friend would. I’ll miss you as a brother, as a best friend, as someone who’s been there for you since forever. You’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to a family, Sauli.” He sighed, wiping his tears.  
“Take care of them for me,” Sauli whispered as he hugged Niko back. “Take care of them, will you? Don’t let anything happen to them, specially Sara. We were too close, and I’m worried about her doing something stupid, like running away. Promise you’ll look after them for me.”  
“I promise,” Niko nodded as he stepped back. “I swear on my life.”  
“Thanks,” Sauli said weakly as Niko helped him on the horse. He could do it himself though, but Niko was just being overprotective and kind. It really hurt that Sauli would never be able to see him again.  
Unlike all of them, Tyan was calm. He was standing there with his head bent down, almost like he was sad.  
“Hey buddy, looks like it’s me and you alone again,” Sauli whispered as he leaned closer to Tyan’s ear. “It’s gonna be me and you for the rest, now. Hope you don’t mind.”  
When Sauli was being escorted out of the city, almost everyone was there. Most of the people were crying, some were throwing him flowers, some were clapping nonstop and admiring his loyalty and bravery, and children were yelling his name as if he was a super hero. Which, okay, he kind of was. The main point, was that he was loved by his people, and he was saving their lives by his action. That was the only thing which was currently saving his sanity.  
He didn’t want to lose it where his people could still see him.

 

“This is it,” Sauli whispered to the guards. “I’m… I’m gonna continue this on my own…you’re dismissed.”  
Niko got closer to Sauli on the horse, and even though it didn’t seem possible, he grabbed Sauli’s shoulder and kissed his forehead as a good luck charm, just like the tradition. “Good luck, prince.” And turned and left Sauli without a single word, although Sauli caught the sight of his tears.

 

“HE’S HERE!” Someone yelled. “THE PRINCE IS HERE!”  
Sauli looked at the city gates blankly. ‘So, this it,’ he thought. ‘The end.’  
Tyan was startled by all the noises, but he was not to be blamed. As soon as Sauli had passed the gates, he was faced with almost everyone in the city, the crowd roaring his name with applause. He could already feel a headache building up.  
Suddenly there were guards around him and Tyan, trying to clear a path for them through the crazy crowd, but they were failing miserably. Someone threw a flower at Sauli, and Sauli grabbed it before it fell back down. He smiled as he smelled it; a Tiger Lily, his very own favorite. He looked at the crowd and saw the young girl who had thrown the Lily smile sweetly. He smiled back genuinely for the first time in the whole day and put the flower in his shirt.  
And he absolutely did not think of the way it smelt like Adam. Absolutely not.

 

 

“Here, sir,” a guard addressed Sauli as he jumped down from Tyan. “Follow me, I’ll show you where you can stay and rest until this evening when you’ll meet the king.”  
“What about my horse? Where will you take him?”  
The guard looked at him confused, as if he’d asked a funny question. Which, okay, he kind of had.  
“Um, to the stable?” The guard answered. Sauli raised an eyebrow.  
“Treat him special, right now, he’s the only thing I have. If anything, as simple as a small scratch happens to him, I’ll make sure you lose a body part, understood?”  
The guard swallowed. “Of course, yes sir.”

 

 

It wasn’t that she was quiet, it was that she was glaring at Sauli.  
“Would you fucking say something?” princess Katri spat. “I’ve been telling you stuff about myself for an entire hour, and you’re as mute as dead! Fucking say something, we’re getting married tomorrow!”  
“You want me to say something?” Sauli glared back, sadness fading and fury settling in instead. “Fuck you.”  
And with that, he stormed out the chamber, leaving the princess and not wanting to see her at least until tomorrow.

 

Wedding’s day  
‘Don’t you trust me? ‘

Sauli felt numb as he showered, voices screaming in his head like they didn’t  
want the day to go on, like they wanted to keep the sun in bay.  
‘I’m so lucky that I had the chance to meet you ’  
He watched his face in the mirror; dull greyish-blue eyes with big lack bags under them, hollow cheeks and pale lips. He splashed water at his reflection, watching how his expression cried the drops down.

‘You’re the greatest person I’ve come across ’

All windows were open, but he sat down on the bed naked, cold drops water dancing down his skin, making him shiver.

‘I couldn’t help it, I just HAD TO stop your crying ’

Water drops were decorating his blurry vision and rolling down his cheeks, and he couldn’t say if they were from the shower or they were real tears.

‘I feel like I can die happily right now ’

He stared at his robe. Velvet. He hated velvet, because he kept imagining it black and soft and sometimes spiky, rolled around his fingers, smelling like horse.

‘Keep them, they match your eyes ’

He was sure that they were tears this time that were blurring his vision, making it difficult to wear the pair of navy blue shoes correctly.

‘I’d jump with you ’

He put on the robe, staring blankly at his reflection once again.

‘You’re so beautiful when you’re asleep, you know that? ’

He felt sick at how tight the robe felt around his chest.  
Even though it was so loose. Maybe it wasn’t even the robe. Sauli couldn’t tell.

‘I love you too much it hurts ’

It just hurt.

‘You’re so beautiful for this world ’

Sauli took a deep breath as he left the room, two guards leading him outside in the castle, where he was going to meet his bride-to-be and swear to love her till the end of time in front of the whole country.

‘You were there to catch me’

Dizzy. Dazed. Dead.  
Sauli felt like he was dead. All he could see was blue. Ocean blue eyes. They were everywhere, hunting his vision.

‘You were there to catch me’

 

Sauli wanted to throw up so badly, but he really didn’t want to do it in front of thousands of people.

‘ I love you’

“What took you so long?” the princess hissed as they both stood, facing each other, waiting for the king to start his speech.  
Sasuli didn’t say anything, he didn’t trust his voice.  
“Ladies and gentlemen!” the king clapped excitedly like a five-year old sun. “I am pleased to announce prince Koskinen, officially one of us!”  
The crowd roared, and Sauli blinked, making several tears roll down his cheeks.  
“And today,” the king continued, “An immortal bond between two hearts, will make for a strong friendship and two countries,”  
Sauli couldn’t see anything, his tears were becoming a problem.  
“What the fuck?” the princess whispered. Sauli swallowed and looked down.  
“Now, I’m more than glad to announce prince Sauli as my-”  
Maybe Sauli’s vision was a bit blurry, but he could still see the blood.  
Blood. Goddamn blood.  
Gasping, Sauli looked up at where the king was standing above them, and his breath came short when he saw a silver arrow, right pressed into where the king’s heart was.  
Katri screamed, but people were silent, either too shocked or turning heads to see who had shot the arrow, no one even noticed the king falling.  
Sauli shouldn’t have done it. He shouldn’t have looked.  
Fucking shouldn’t have.  
But he did.  
The world stopped. Everything, EVERYTHING stopped as a velvet voice, his familiar velvet voice started talking.  
“Listen you lot!” he started calmly. “Your king,” he moved forward with his horse. “IS DEAD!”  
No one was making the smallest sound, too shocked or too terrified to move, everyone was mesmerized by his presence.  
“You, on the other hand, have two options!” he lowered his bow to the ground. “YOU WILL NOT ATTACK ME, NOR START AN UPRISING! BECASE RIGHT BEHIND THESE GATES, THERE’S AN ARMY, SENT FROM THE WESTERN LANDS, TO ATTACK YOU IF YOU DON’T DO AS I SAY! PRINCE RATLIFF HAS MADE FRIENDSHIP BOUNDS WITH KING KOSKINEN, AND RIGHT NOW THAT THEY’RE POWERFUL ENOUGH, NO ONE CAN STOP THEM! SO I’LL TAKE THE PRINCE BACK TO HIS OWN KINGDOM, AND WHITHIN A FEW DAYS, YOUR COUNTRY IS BECOMING A PART OF THEIR KINGDOM, AND SOMEONE FROM THEIR PEOPLE WILL BE SENT TO RULE TO YOU!” he stopped to take a breath. “NOW, ALL THE GAURDS, HAND IN YOU SWORDS TO MY SOLDIERS!”  
Sauli didn’t know when or how, but he had started running through the crowd toward him. His sight sucked due to the tears, and his heart felt like it wanted to break his ribcage and escape.  
As he got in front of the horse, he was shaking violently, from fear, happiness, shock and being overwhelmed. His knees gave in as he fell on them, and right before he passed out, he felt two strong arms wrapped around his tiny waist and a familiar scent fill his darkness.

 

 

“How is he?” Tommy, the blonde prince of western lands questioned Adam as he sat on a chair near the bed.  
Adam was sitting on the king sized bed with Sauli’s head on his chest as his own arms were wrapped around his tiny shoulders. He sighed sadly as tears blurred his vision. “No signs of waking up yet.” He hugged him closer to his chest.  
“Hey, you might wanna let go of him, I don’t think his position is comfortable, yeah?”  
Adam shook his head.  
“Come on, he won’t run away!”  
“I’m not letting go, stop.” Adam tried to glare but failed. How could he glare at someone who had helped him SO MUCH?”  
“Hey um… pr-”  
“How many times have I told you to call me Tommy?”  
“Yeah uh… Tommy I… I wanted to thank you. I mean, genuinely thank you for everything. Without you-”  
“I know, I know.” Tommy smiled. “No need. Of course I would have helped you, you were almost dying and you didn’t seem like the lying type, so I thought my helping you would raise the chances of-”  
“The chances of?”  
“Well uh,” Tommy blushed. “You know, I was planning on visiting Sauli’s sister as a… I…. I wanna …”  
“You wanna marry Sara?” Adam laughed. “You never said that before!”  
“Well…” Tommy scratched the back of his head.  
“Adam?”  
Adam froze as he felt the heaviness on his chest lighten.  
Sauli blinked as he found himself caged in Adam’s arms, and looked up at him with glassy blue eyes. He started sobbing, his body shaking violently in the process.  
Adam couldn’t help his own tears as he hugged his shaking lover close to his chest. “Ssh b-baby, I’m r-right here…”  
“You-you-” Sauli tried to talk properly. “YOU WERE GONE!” he ended up screaming. “I WOKE UP AND YOU WERE GONE, YOU MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE!”  
“I know, and I’m the biggest motherfucker on earth for that baby-”  
“DON’T FUCKING ‘BABY’ ME NOW!” Sauli screamed back as he freed himself from Adam’s arms. “IT WAS OUR FUCKING ANNIVERSARY! AND YOU DITCHED ME! WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? I ALMOST DIED FROM A PANIC ATTACK!”  
Adam’s eyes widened. “You-”  
“YES! I ALMOST DIED! THEN WENT THROUGH THE WORST KIND OF DEPRESSION!”  
“I just wanted to-”  
“DO YOU THINK I WOULD HAVE LET YOU IN MY LIFE IF I KNEW THERE WAS A CHANCE AT LOVING THE PRINCESS? NO!” too weak to yell anymore, he felt dizzy and fell forward uncontrollably, right into Adam’s arms. He tried to stand up, but Adam grabbed his waist and pulled him to his chest once again, holding him tight. Sauli stopped struggling as tears rolled down his cheek. “I thought- I thought you were dead…” he whispered weakly as he sobbed quietly into Adam’ neck.  
Adam, still dazed from Sauli’s breakdown, pushed Sauli back enough to look at his tearful eyes with his own glassy ones. “I’ll never, ever leave you again. I fucking swear to god, I’ll stay with you as long as I live.” And then without hesitation, he leaned in and claimed Sauli’s lips; Sauli, who had gotten so thin and gained bags under his eyes, Sauli, who had gone through so much sadness he didn’t deserve, Sauli, who LOVED him.  
He slowly pushed Sauli back until his head hit the pillow, and took care of him lovingly until he fell asleep. Then he laid down next to him and spooned the prince, thinking about how quickly his world had become the person sleeping peacefully right next to him.  
No one noticed a smiling Tommy leave the room.

 

Six months later

“ADAM!”Sauli screamed. “YOU ARE WAKING THE FUCK UP THIS INSTANT!”  
“ ‘m not,” Adam mumbled as he hugged his pillow.  
“YES, YOU ARE!” Sauli screamed again. “WE’LL BE LATE!”  
“C’mon baby,” Adam said lazily. “Just five more minutes!”  
“You said the same thing an hour ago,” Sauli mocked. “Just get the fuck out of the bed or I’ll-”  
“You’ll what? Punch me with those baby hands of yours?” Adam giggled.  
“Oh,” Sauli narrowed his eyes. “Just remember you started it,”  
And then, he went to stand on the bed and started jumping up and down like the ‘kid’ he was inside.  
“Adam” bang! “GET” bang! “OUT” bang! “OF THE” bang! “BED!” bang! Bang! Bang!  
“FUCKING JESUS,” Adam yelled as he was thrown the side of the bed because of the bed’s shaking. “I’VE MARRIED A SIX-YEAR OLD IDIOT!”  
Bang! “That’s it,” bang! “Your final warning!” bang! “The next thing I’ll be jumping on is” bang! “YOUR DICK!” bang! Bang!  
With a scream, Adam rolled down the bed.

 

 

“If we’ll be late for my sister’s wedding, I’m gonna fucking kill you, you asshole!” Sauli glared at his husband as he kept riding Tyan right next to Felix, Adam’s horse.  
“Oh, no need,” Adam answered. “Tommy will have me killed before you if we are late, since I’m his best man anyway.”  
“You should have considered the fact that if it weren’t for him, we wouldn’t be living in our own castle for the two of us, since it belonged to the king you murdered. You should’ve considered to fact this morning, it might have helped you wake up, you prick.”  
“Oops then.”  
Sauli rolled his eyes. “Still not over how my father asked me to rule this country, the country that belonged to that fucker, the one that was taking me from my family.”  
“It was totally logical if you ask me. You’re the most qualified person in the entire world.” Adam smiled mockingly, and in answer, Sauli stuck his tongue out.  
Adam suddenly led Felix closer to Tyan, and leaned in to take Sauli’s tongue between his own lips before he had the chance to escape. Sauli moaned at the kiss, but soon they weren’t able to kiss properly since their smiles were too big on their faces. Sauli nuzzled to Adam’s nose.

Their story was Untamed, just like how Tyan was, but Sauli had tamed his very own other half somewhere in between, as if HE was the tamer in the first place.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!  
> Sorry it took so long, it happened because of three main reasons:  
> 1\. I got into a fight with my parents and they took my cellphone, and I couldn’t touch my laptop because they would check on me every single minute to make sure I wasn’t doing anything but studying.  
> 2\. This story wasn’t supposed to be this long, but when I would start writing, ideas would jump out of my head like popcorns and well, I couldn’t ignore them, so I tried to finish this in the best way possible.  
> 3\. I’m a Persian glambert, and in case you didn’t know, we have a 15 days long holiday when our New Year starts, and we were camping for the holidays. I had my laptop, but who the hell writes when they’re on a camp with the WHOLE FAMILY? No one.  
> But anyways, it’s finished, and I hope you like it, because I really do.  
> DON’T FORGET TO LEAVE A COMMENT.


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